One night last year I came across an interesting passage in a biography of The Rolling Stones. Bill Wyman was being quoted from an old interview, saying that he realized the fan-worship thing had gotten out of hand when in 1965 a young girl sent them some bubble gum and asked them to chew it and return it to her.

Bingo! Bells and lights started flashing in my head as I instantly recognized the twisted brilliance of her request. Right then and there I decided to steal this idea and expand it into a full-fledged celebrity collection of "ABC gum." I quickly started buying up a few inexpensive supplies, writing a form letter and compiling the list of shining stars, faded stars, second bananas, and ego-bloated nobodies that I would solicit for my collection.

* already been chewed